I hate all girls vehemently.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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