Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
