none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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