I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize