And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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