How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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