it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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