i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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