Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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