3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Houston, we have a blender
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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