just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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