That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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