on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
