If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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