Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
