Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
