Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
