He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
