She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
