I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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