i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
