my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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