Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
