Yo dont text me then not text me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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