is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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