In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
