you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
