Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
