Fuck appropriateness.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
