its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
