drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
