I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
