U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I need to calm my uterus...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
