I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
