I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
