I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
