New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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