there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
