the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
