I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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