friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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