hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
