Only a mothe r could love this liver
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
