i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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