what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
