rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
