Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He better not be in your backpack
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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