just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
