He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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