Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
